Lost
by Meong the Lovely Cat
Summary: Even if Rolo had died, he still remains in Lelouch's heart. The memories of Rolo inside Lelouch's heart, gave a new reason for him to live. Only with the whispered two words... 'Live on'.


Note : I don't own Code Geass, Code Geass is the property of Sunrise Corp

. . . Live . . .

Snow… falling like flower petals in the deepest night. I cannot see anything… I lost. Rolo, why? Why did you save me? I'm too cruel to you, right? Why do you still treasure the times we spent together? Rolo… I don't want you to leave me. I… realized it now, what I've waited for so long. Rolo…

"Nii-san, Lelouch Nii-san," called Rolo.

"Huh? I… am I fell asleep?" I asked while fixing my hair.

"Yeah,"

"Why don't you wake me up? Now, I'm late for the lesson,"

"I'm sorry Nii-san, but I don't want to bother your sleep. You must be tiring out because the role of Zero you bear, so…"

"It's not an excuse, Rolo. Bring me my clothes!" I yelled. Then, he bring my clothes and help me change. I looked at him. He looked very happy and do his best to make me satisfied. But…

I don't like him. I hate him. I never give him any feelings except hatred and hate. He's fake. He's not Nunally, neither my only related brother. He's only a false brother. He's just a killing mechanics. And if I can take Nunally back, I'll make sure he feel all of my hatred then.

"Okay, it's done! … Nii-san…?" he called again.

"Sorry, I'm spacing out again. Thank you, Rolo," without looking at him, I said those unmeaning words. He smiled and look very joyous.

'Hmph, someday I'll make your expression change fully and destroy you until your last blood drop, Rolo,'

At the school, Rolo and me went to the student council room and meet with everyone, Milly-sachou, Shirley, Rivalz, and… Suzaku.

"Yo, Lelouch! You're late," said Rivalz cheerfully.

"I'm sorry, I woke up late. Rolo didn't wake me up this morning," while smiling, I answered.

"Rolo didn't wake you up?" asked Suzaku curious.

"Yeah, maybe it's because I slept late last night," again I answered while looking at Rolo who feel guilty. Then I smiled at him. He looked happy because he think that he succeeded to please me. Well… it's only the start, Rolo.

"Rolo, sent this message to Black Knights Headquarter, quickly," in the secret underground headquarter I ordered Rolo to go to the Black Knights Headquarter.

"Yes, Nii-san," he answered. Then he walked away.

"Oh, wait, Rolo."

"Yes?"

"Be careful on your way there," after those words came out from my lips, he silenced and looked at me with a happy face. Then…

"Yes, Nii-san," he answered and smiled. Then he gone with his Knightmare. After he leave me, I grinned and felt like I had everything in my hand. But…

"Don't touch me, you, False Brother!!!" I pushed Rolo down.

"Nii… san…" he startled and look at me with a confused sight.

"Go away!! Get out!! Don't ever come near me anymore!!" again I yelled.

"Nii-san," he called.

"Go away!! Stay away!! Don't touch me!!" I slapped his hand off.

Now, my heart was full with hatred and despair. I don't know what I should do now. Nunnaly is dead. And it's because him, yes it's because Rolo, my false brother. If he could meet and save Nunally faster, Nunnaly would be still alive now.

"Nii-san, why?" he asked.

"Rolo, you asked 'why'?" I replied with a question.

"Nii-san…" again he called.

"It's because I hate you!! I always hate you!! You know what? I put a detonator on your Knightmare!!"

"Detonator? Then, why didn't you-?"

"It's because there wasn't a right moment to active it!! You know I always hoping for your death and tried to kill you!!"

"Master…" from my back C.C. calling me.

"Shut up!!" I yelled at her. It makes her shocked and hide behind the curtain.

"Now… get out!! Don't ever dare to appeared in front of my face!! Be gone!!" I yelled. Then, Rolo who still shocked with my words, get up and then walk out the room with his trembled body. After he gone, I sit on the sofa and cover my eyes with my hands. C.C. who's frightened because of me, walk silently and then embrace me.

"… C.C…?"

"If something makes you sad, I'll be always be with you,"

"… sad…? Maybe you're right. But… right now I not only feeling something called sad, but, maybe… we can called it 'a hope for deaths',"

"Master,"

"I don't care if I die now, Nunnaly. She's… died because of me," I whispered softly in the warmth of C.C.'s embrace

Rolo, I don't know why but, I can't only think that you're the guilty one. I don't understand why I feel like this, I must hate you mustn't I?

Rolo… I'm sorry.

"Rolo, stop!! Do you want to die?! If you use your geass-!!!" the time stopped as I speak and Rolo was using his geass too.

"I don't care if I die for you, Nii-san," he said. Then the time turned again.

"Rolo, stop it!! If you use the geass like this, your heart cannot stand it!! It will stop in no time!!" I yelled out. Rolo smiled, he knew the fact that he would die. Then the time stopped again. Yes, he's using his geass once more.

"I don't care. Because it's mean I die for your life," he said. Then he destroyed 4 knightmares in front of him and time rolled over again.

"Rolo, why did you do this?!" I asked. Then the time stopped again.

"The reason I done everything is… you, Nii-san." he destroyed one knightmare again then said…

"If it means I you live for sure than no matter how it takes, or even it cost for my only one life, than… it's alright," he said while driving my knightmare crazily and crushed every little thing in front of us. I tried my best to stop him, but it's no use. When he's using his geass, I cannot do anything than keep silence and watch him.

Now, he's grabbing his own uniform and bearing the utmost pain in his heart. Yes, his heart starting to stop gradually. But, he try to bear with it and prioritized my life than him.

When we land on a forest near the school, Rolo who started to facing his death smiled upon me. Then, I asked…

"Rolo, why… why did you save me?"

"It's… because, I want… Nii-san to live…"

"Me…? To live? Are you stupid? I… I'm cruel to you. I'm the evil who mustn't live in this world. Something that mustn't birth on the first place…"

"I know. But still… I don't want Nii-san to die… I… even we're not a real siblings but… the time we've spent together was real. And that was what you said before…"

"I realized… that because of you, I can live as a human. Before I meet you… I always live as an heartless… assassin, I… never knew how to feel a happiness… and everything that I don't know before I had them from you. You taught me how to smile. You taught me how to live happily, even though it's fake… I don't care…"

"Ro… lo…"

"Nii-san… there was… still one reason left…"

"It's… all because… my Nii-san was a liar…"

"Rolo…"

"I don't even care if Nii-san would take my life… because Nii-san was strong and precious to me. I know if Nii-san lied when you said you hate me… or when you said you want to kill me…"

"… am I right, Nii-san…?" he asked with all of his last might. I startled. My tears began to spread out. I close my eyes for awhile. Then I forced myself to smile and looked at him with gentle sight.

"You're right Rolo, your Nii-san was a liar," I answered. His smile getting wider and his eyes began to closed slowly.

"Thank goodness…" he said. Then his eyes closed. His hand could not longing for my hand anymore. He's fallen asleep. Yes, with smile upon his lips. I gently stroke his face.

"Rolo… you've fallen asleep… haven't you?" I asked. He silenced, not even trembled. I looked to his face desperately. Then, I found he's treasured the gift I gave him on his false birthday. I take it from his hand. Then, I opened the lock. Some music began to tuned.

"……. kh," I tried to say something, but I cannot say anything. The tears I holding back, spread out and began to run through my cheek.

"Rolo…" I called his name. But, there's no answer anymore. In front of me now, there's only a boy who smiled full with joyous and sleep forever.

"Rolo," again I called. And still… there's no answer. I embrace him and call out his name for uncountable times. But there's no answer. The only thing he left is only my gift and his cold body.

I can't bear it anymore. Now, I realized… that the only thing I wanted for long is love. Love and trust. I wanted to be loved and trusted by someone. And there's only one that gave me everything he had… Rolo…

But, what have I done? I killed him. With my hatred I've killed him. Why always I regret something after the moment I found something precious I'll treasure left? Am I that stupid?

Yes, after all there's no one who called me prodigy. I never done any miracle. It's only the power of geass. Everyone trust me because the power of geass that I shown to them as the miracle. Only one person who believe in me and never betrayed me. He even thought himself if my words was a lie.

He knew it. I lived within lies. But he still believe in me. Rolo, why when I wanted you so much, I must lost you? Now, I don't have anything left. Not the geass, nor the person I loved.

Everything has left me. And you… Rolo. You know what? Now I'm lost. I've lost my way. I don't know how to act anymore. Rolo, should I come to you? I'm lost…

"Rolo…" again, I called out his name. As softly as whisper, but as loud as my heart shouts.

The wind breeze stroke around my cheek. Somehow, I hear a whisper. Maybe it's the whisper of the wind…

'Nii-san…'

"…………" I silenced.

'Our memories wasn't lie, right? It was real, right? It's all because of you. I can live as a human…' again, the winds murmured something which makes all of my memories spread out and scattered into pieces of tears on my cheek. I looked into the sky. Again… the winds whispered.

'Nii-san… live on. Live on for my sake to… I'll always be with you and beside you, from now on… and…'

"Forever…" I whispered along with the whisper of the wind. I began to cry again. But I stopped crying after. I looked to the light in front of me and decided to face reality. Then, I smiled while looking at the locket I gave to Rolo on his false… no, his birthday, his most precious day when he born as a human.

Yes… from now on, I'll live on not only for my own life, but for Rolo's too. He'll always be with me even now, I can't touch him or see him. But, he's the only last precious things which I'll treasure for the rest of my life. And… there's no key to open and let my precious memories with him come out from my mind. So, I'll live on. For the one I owe so much. For the I love and treasure so much… for the who said the words…

'Live on…'

Code Geass Fan fiction - Live On -

- END -


End file.
